Text

i feel the
cold within
and touch it
with blue
tinged fingers
mouthing empty
words of hate
'you stupid
cunt you
deserved it'

i saw you
today and i
felt afraid
was it really
you?
i can't see
through this
veil covered
vision and
i'm so alone

when i see
you the
moon smiles
down at
me through
pale mouth
and shows
me her pregnant
belly
the dark recedes
iceberg eyes
touches me
with her
night colored
fingers and
turns away

the blood
gathers in
the sink and
i sit empty handed
you asked me
and you touched
it placed
your fingers
on the wound
and i wanted
to retreat under
the garish
lights and
pretend that
i did not care

when september
comes with
her skin
the color of
fall leaves
rotting in piles
because i don't
want to rake
them away
i take away
the self-destruct
button in my
mind and feel
my jutting hipbones
and grin

summer is the time
for hotblooded
hatred
fall is cold so
cold
watching the
ice cream trucks
pass by and
feel satisfied

join groups of
girls helping each
other die and
i am a fraud
do i want to die?
is any of this
real
perhaps i don't
have the fare for
passage to
the underworld
unable to take
the boat across
the sea of the lost

dull mouthed
girl with eyes
that pause at
the sight of you
i have caught
your disease
and i feel ill

take my hands
and kiss me
in the dark
slow warm and
moist
in the dark
i can do anything
challenge this
body and mark
it as my own

i hold out
my cold hand and
wait for
you