Text

sometimes she
laughed
loudly and to nobody
in particular
her hands slid
down my hips
i tasted salt on
my lips
hospital food
i liked to eat the rice
and throw out the rest
i would swallow
down packets of
salt and pepper
little sprinkles of
black and white
sliding into the
cracks between
my fingers
she would eat
sucking the taste
of food from
underneath her
nails
afterwards i heard
her in the bathroom
the coughing and
gagging
i could almost
feel the fingers
scratching at the
back of my throat
it ached

when i kissed
her closed eyes
i could feel
them dry and feverish
underneath my
dry lips
her mouth was warm
i could almost
taste the vomit
her hands were
warm on my small
breasts
they lingered
i could almost feel
her skin registering
the heavy scars
she only bent and
tongued along
those pink lines

fifteen minutes
was almost up
she slid away
and i was
breathing hard
my eyes felt
funny
a nurse peered
in and i just
stared at her
i could feel
my pulse beating
in my fingers
when she slipped
back underneath
the covers with me
i trailed my hands
over her back
feeling her spine
fragile
i could almost imagine
my fingers crushing
it
her breath was
warm in my ear as
she said

'untouchable
yet touched'

we both were