Text

i sit
with tears
in my
eyes
they will
never fall
i need
not cry
the only
tears i'll
shed are
ones that
can be gained
with
knife
or razor

maybe no
tears at all
maybe blackened
skin and metal
that glows in
the moonlight

i can't decide
i'm stuck
my words are
stuck in
my throat
sharp and
dull
inane

i can't think
my mind is
a white
television
screen
the sound
is turned
down
there is a
buzz
that crawls
into your
ears and
it eats
away at
your brain

what do i need
to do?
i need to love
i need to smile
i need to laugh
i need to hurt
i need to lie curled
up on the floor
with my arms
wrapped around
my stomach
i need to die

the answer is
so simple
and so complex
at the same
time
a math equation
i can never
solve
x does not
equal 5

i can't breath
the fear is
suffocating me
choking me
killing me
give it all up
lay your
cards down
and say
'it's over
i wanna go
home.'

i don't know
what the point
is
not of this
or of
anything

i want him to
love me
so that
i don't have
to be so
cold anymore
so i don't
have to stand
alone
silent and
with blood
running down
my arms

i want to read
the final
paragraph and
close
the book

i like
unhappy endings