this is just masturbation
created: 12-2-2005
word count: 398
Text
i pressed my
lips to the white
column of her neck
soft strong
pulse
beating beating
steady as the waves
her hair tickled my
nose
i was lost
in the scent of
her perfume
cheap
perfunctory
bought from a liquor
store
$5.00 for a bottle
mutual masturbation
her hands stretching
me from inside out
her fingernails painted
a blue with sparkles
that remind me of the
stars
the stars that smile coldly
down
their teeth sharp
outside the traffic goes
on and on
i pretend not to notice
that her fingers
are dirty
they smell musky
and leave bruises
on my skin
the nails jag across
the scars along my
arms
twisting lines
of white
those are the lines they
shall speak at my
funeral
the rain beating down
sweet and gagging
her mouth is sweet
it tastes of cosmetics
the kind you buy when
you're trying to cover
up your past
i plunge my tongue
into that mouth
and i taste her saliva
alive
warm
she traces my collarbone
with her teeth
and there is no sound
from either of us
language has been lost
it's disappeared down
the rabbit hole
lust is a steel ball in
my belly
when i leave
my nylons tucked
into my hands
i look back at her
dark hair spread
across the pillows
mouth stretched into
a frown
she has tasted me
but she does not enjoy
she has swallowed but
there is no nourishment
all there is
left is the sound of my
heels clicking
click click click
a steady beat
i will visit again
my dress tossed to
the floor like rubbish
pressing my mouth
to her eyelids and pretending
i do not taste the salt
of her tears
this is just masturbation
that's all