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cotton candy hair
framing a dull
pale face
cradling her
plastic body
close to mine
when i could
hear mother
crying

glass breaking
whimpers of
pain
then the sound
of fucking
rutting like
animals
i can see it playing
out in my head
over and over
again
the humped figure
writhing on
the bed the
sheets smell
of sex when i pour
soap on them
on mondays
to do the wash

she is crying
wide plastic
eyes glittering
and eerie
bow mouth
smiling in a
frothy pink that
reminds me
of strawberry
milkshakes
behind those
plastic lips
i sometimes
expect to find
little vampire
teeth where
she sucks
the youth out of
me night
after night

i hold her
and she cries
when i can
hear the screams
(muffled in my
dreams) from behind
the closed door
down the hall

when i play
house she
sits in the high
chair and
i feed her
plain white rice
piece by piece
careful to stop
at thirty

the night is
a suffocating black
cloak that
makes my fingers
itch for blood
its smooth texture
the tangy metallic
taste as it disappears
on the tongue

cut her plastic
limbs with the
blade i use to
make clay
figures
(skinny creations
without breasts
and hips)
the plastic opening
up to reveal a
large emptiness

sisters in combat

in vain i
try to feed
her pills so
she will go to
sleep
close her ever
staring plastic
eyes and rest

when i cut
myself to
look for the
emptiness inside
of me the blood
wells up
and runs down
my arm in cool
streams
press down
nothing but
ruined flesh

her pink arms
are scarred
with the ghosts
of cuts
mine with
pink and white
scars that itch
during math class

that day
i cut a hole in
her mouth
and peered into
the black
water ready
pills with gleaming
wasp bodies
fell across
the floor
i fed them
to her one by one
pouring water
into that mouth
falling onto
her white dress
(shame on you)

she sleeps as
will i
the rope is ready
chair unsteady
under me
wobbling
sickening snap
the world goes
red and then
black

scarred doll
tumbling from
twitching arms
the angry
words
marching up
and down on
the mirror
in red paint
(blood)

it is her sunset

sisters in combat