Text

my mouth
could be cruel
when it wanted
to be
i hissed hatred
at her as
she moved her
mouth along
the oh-so-sensitive
flesh of my
neck
tore at her
skin with my nails
when her
wet mouth
sucked on
my cunt
sometimes i bit
her fingers and
watched her
eyes become
shiny with tears
i would lick
them away if
they fell
feeding on her
pain because
of the high pitched
squeals of hatred
that made my
mind so
uninhabitable
i wanted to move
away from that house
the thoughts had
rotted the floorboards
and the screams
had made the windows
shatter

she held me when i
saw him last
age having made his
hair white
the drooping mouth
the eyes dim
i remembered that mouth
whispering into my ear
making me keep
his secrets
make me
his secret
be a good girl
now and close the door
she held me and i
mouthed his name into
her shoulder
and my fingers
sank into the flesh
of her arms
later i watched the
red marks and thought
i did that
it made me feel
tall

i liked watching
her sleep
the lights outside
flickering
defenseless
i could not care
the feelings that
closed up my
throat made
me unable to love
her
it made me need
her
she was in my blood
the tang of her
saliva
mixed with blood
sustained me
for a whole day
her tears
for a week
her father had
broken her and
i picked up the pieces
and assembled them
into helpless shapes
that needed to be
broken again
so they could
be fixed
she needed me

nobody else did