only way
created: 11-29-2005
word count: 404
Text
yesterday i
succeeded today
i failed my
mind is full of
sterile logarithms
numbers with sharp
edges and flickering
eyes
catch the side
of the pale moon
and stroke her
pregnant belly
full of life full of
death bone white
face peering out
from craters
i saw myself in
the mirror today
saw my stick thin
arm go up to
smooth my hair
and looked into
those eyes
dead dull brown
eyes i do believe
we've succeeded
doctor
the first zombie
inanimate flesh pulsing
with dark life
that pours from a
dank corner
where memories
lie in wait
delicate flower
with smooth
limbs and a head
that seems too
large for her body
girl in the mirror
with the black rimmed
eyes and circles
that look like
stains underneath
her eyes
half sneering mouth
and trembling hands
she looks like a
refugee
just got here, just
got here
tasteless dread
with pinpricks of
black in my mouth
cover my mouth
with my delicate
hand and try to
look oh so pretty
and innocent
instead a skeleton
stares back from
the mirror
the pulse at her
throat jumps
and the hair
is flyaway like
mine
can skeletons
dance?
i dance a tango
with the girl in
the mirror and
she shuffles and grins
madly like a girl
on a psychiatric ward
i've been there before
antiseptic and
needles that sting
the thighs of the girl
in the mirror do
not touch
bowed out legs
beautiful
and so ugly
a black spider with
many eyes and
a sharp intellect
my mind is a kaleidoscope
of black and white
and gray
i turn my back
on the girl in the mirror
and calmly
cut my wrist open
it's the only way i'll
ever be like her