Text

look into
my drained
eyes in the
mirror the
washed out
brown of
nineteen years
touch my
mouth
almost can smell
the psychic
vomit of days
past

my wrists are
lined with funny
pink and white
scars
i touch them
with the edge
of my tongue
and wish they
would spill
forth black
blood skin
stained with
it

the smell of
blood in the
air a red
fetid smell
that mixes
with the crisp
air
it makes my
mouth go
dry with
anticipation

take my
blood with
a needle and
collect it
in a plain
clear jar
reminding
me that i live
that i breath
in the toxic
air in this
home where
shadows
never lie dead
and the past
grins with
its mouth
a black hole
in which i fall
down

touch my
dry skin as
it stretches
across my
bones and
see the blue
veins pulsing
with sleepless
blood
it spills forth
with the touch
of a blade
puddling into
my cupped
hands which i
lift to my
lips to drink
blood drunk
smile and
eyes lined
with little red
lights

the lazy touch
of cold steel
on my skin
carefully tearing
me open to
the world
open my mind

the sea glitters
outside
dark with
secrets and
creatures that
travel its murky
depths with
soulless black eyes
i want to plunge
into that sea
bare my skin
watch the tiny
grains of sand
gather in the
crooks of my
elbows

touch the black
and white photograph
of the little
girl in the picture
frame and remember
days when the sun
would shine down
hot on my back
when the smiles
of a thousand
little children lit
up the grey sky

the sky is
empty
the black touch
of the night
at its edges

at night i
watch the blood
spill forth with
wet eyes
and i hear the
clogged sound
of my laughter

this is my life
and it will
forever be stained
red with the blood
of innocents

not that i'm innocent