Text

johnny panic
said i
slips into
my dreams
and sleeps
beside me
eyelids
twitching as
if in dream
i borrowed
him from plath
(she had stashed
him in her coat
closet)
and now
he slinks and
is like a cat

i can hear
his step
on the stairs
when he rings
i cannot but
help to answer
the door
watch his
sharp look
and the needles
he prods
me with
sometimes i like
to tell people
i've taken a
lover
one that makes
me quiver
like a frightened
rabbit
in the headlights
of a beastly
machine

he is what
hurries my step
when i open
the door to
flee
barefoot
into the night
i've hidden
in the bushes
and he cries
at my heels
that there
is no stopping
only movement
run away
girl
or johnny panic
will climb
into your skin
and you
won't be
yourself anymore

my hands jitter
tongue silent
and limp in my
mouth
spent from years
of bad speech
and unfulfilling
meetings with
teeth
(they lie sharp
and estranged)
eyes searching
for an end
put an axe
in johnny panic
his face like
a razor blade
take his eyes
out
and swallow
down
the poison
of him

eat the way
he makes my
throat feel
tight
how my chest
has that silver
band about
it
(with this ring
i shall thee wed)
eat every bit
of that johnny panic

i cry out
i have taken
johnny panic
i have eaten
my pie
every bit of it

it is bitter