Text

words slip
out of my
clenched
fists cutting
me
blood drips
down
(your blood
is in my fists)

i can't write
the words
refuse to
come
my muse is
locked at
the bottom
of a lake
with the skeletons
of boats for
company

dippy girl
you never
had any skill
cheap charlatan
dirty whore
with bloody
words on her
lips
eyes full of
the black

teacher can
you help me?
the words won't
come to me
and i just want
to cut and cut
and cut
until the black
letters bleed
out of my
arms

no instead
you take me
aside and tell
me that you
know what
i did
little minx
thief

yes, i did
no, i'm not
sorry
pet the top
of my head
and say silkily
you have to
be punished
for your
sins
take the
lighter to your
red hair

my hair is
falling out
every morning
i watch it gather
in the brush and
i stand
dry eyed
the body is
falling apart and
i don't care i
don't fucking care

he touched
me that one
time
brushed
his hand
over my small
breasts
and said that
was what
my reward
was for being
such bad little
girl

(please no please
no)

as i lay me
down to
sleep i pray
i pray
to him that
the grim reaper
with his sickle
will come and
take me during
the night

hold out
my weeping
wrists so
that he may
catch the
cold blood
with his black
maw

fade into
the brick
wall and feel
the touch of
a thousand
phantom
hands
on your
flat flesh

i am just
a girl and
i can't write
the words are
stuck thick
and furry in
my mind where
they will gather
dust

i can't write
my head aches
black and white
shapes huddled
in the background
take the pen
in hand and stab
out my
eyes until ink
tears fall down
my sallow cheeks

you can't write
and i want
to kill and kill
and kill