Text

i sipped my
coffee
it was a quarter
to eight
my leg beat
out the passing
seconds on
the cold floor
my feet ached
in my tight
shoes
(i was pretending
i was delicate
with dainty feet and
firm calves)
the perfume rose
about me
waiting to strangle
me its cheap scent
just another
girl waiting for
her lover
(the one that fucked
and ran last night)
the red dress i
had on
was too thin
the cold took residence
in my marrow
burrowing
little teeth stripping
me

i looked at my
watch in that
oh-so-casual way
though i wanted
to lift it to
my ear and listen
to the seconds
tick by
(no digital watch
for this girl)
my eyes felt
too big in my
face
like they didn't
belong
the sleepless
night had marked
me
i could feel my
flesh creep as
stares passed over
me
i looked up
into the eyes
of a passing man
and he smiled
at me
my mouth jerked
as i tried to return it

the red dress
was too loud
it announced
my purpose
i was waiting
for it to be taken
off
for it to lie in
a corner next to
my high heels

the rattle of
newspapers
my coffee was
drained
i bought another cup
(the girl behind the
counter slid the change
into hands that
trembled)
i tried to remember
the last words
that had been
said
had they been
'i love you'
all i could remember
was the touch
of hands
and the scratch of
nails
(i still had half moons
on my thighs)

i waited until it was
dark
the fluorescent lights
hurt my eyes
and i drank cup
of coffee number -
couldn't even remember -
the red dress
stuck to my body
it showed my
desperation
i wondered if i had
only imagined the
rendezvous
i opened my left hand
(it quivered like a
frightened animal)
and in my sweaty
palm there was the
note

'coffee at seven. wear
your red dress.'