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stale mouthed
kisses strawberry
lip gloss stolen
from savon
her mouth is
greasy with it
tentative fumblings
her breath in
my ear

sitting on her
bed
licking stickers
and pasting them
to her lunchbox
sly smiles and
dark eyes
full of secrets
open mouthed
laugh
trembling in
my hands

she tastes of
vomit
tongues twining
slippery
we ate pizza and
posted pictures
of our favorite
movie stars
on the wall
the sound of
retching
food slipping out
of her mouth
smell of bile
on her breath

the pounding in
my head
reach for her hands
all angles and bones
rings on her
fingers
place an open
mouthed kiss on her
hand
trace the squiggly
lines on her
wrists
the ones that
follow the path of
the razor blade

bath water pink
and then red
blue face still
and composed
a picture of jesus
christ in her folded
hands

kiss her closed
eyes
fumble underneath
her skirt
she moans and
giggles
watching television
rated r movies
no parental
permission
turn to her and
kiss her when
the hero kisses
the helpless girl

school skirt
and silky soft
legs
she shaves
the razor leaving
behind smooth
barbie legs
angry red scars
near her ankles
trace them with
your fingers
she smiles and
reaches for your
hand

cry when you
see the ink blot
poetry in her
notebook
she whispers in
your ear
the blood red blotches
where she purged
herself of red
paint
i paint my nails
red
trace them on her
thighs and imagine
how the blood looks
against her
skin

pale white
skin
she smells like
soft squishy
lotion
the kind her
older sister uses
we giggle and
put on eyeshadow
our eyes catching
in the mirror
fumbling with
her small breasts
just like in the
movies

hiding underneath
the covers
our hands
touching
excited whispers
touch of a cold hand
on my thigh
exploring the
expanse of her
covering her
body with my
own
laughing
when she smiles
blood on my
fingers
arms decorated with
open mouthed
cuts
smiling at me
telling me she is
not mine
she is captive
to her creations

giving her my
friendship bracelet
purple and pink
beads spelling
out my name
tasting her on
my lips
sharp hipbones
hidden by her
school skirt

that summer
spent fumbling
with her
body making
her laugh
making her
moan
she is mine
but not mine
the dazed look
in her eyes
when the demons
call her name
and the little
pencil sharpener
blade comes out

can i keep her?