poetry

Works

• • 2004

  • • this is just masturbation - not a relationship, just masturbation, she says.
  • • untitled - an early morning ramble. stream of consciousness.
  • • untouchable yet touched - relationship in hospital.
  • • watcher - watcher in the closet as they fuck.
  • • white noise - stream of consciousness. written in hospital.
  • • yes, mama - little girls grow up.

  • 2003

  • • alice - sort of crazy alice in wonderful gone psychiatric.
  • • black snake - suicide attempt.
  • • can i balance - wanting to go back to self-destruction.
  • • can i keep her? - Two girls find comfort in one another.
  • • carry me off to sleep - killing yourself slowly.
  • • does it really matter? - ambivalence is a virtue.
  • • don't hate - alone after dark.
  • • everything is all right - looking for health.
  • • feather in the wind - a girl whose life is just a 'feather in the wind.'
  • • flowing paints - self-destruction. cutting my breasts.
  • • forget you're alive - my father and i.
  • • god, can i have a new canvas? - self-destruction. again.
  • • her final goodbye - Sister's death.
  • • hope you will understand - for someone i used to know.
  • • horizon - at dawn.
  • • hurt me again - The past returns.
  • • i am - encounter in a club.
  • • i am living - gaining weight after an eating disorder ends.
  • • i am nothing - freedom that isn't. this is all that i am.
  • • i can't write - writer's block and depression
  • • i think not - what i wanted to tell the first boy in my life when it all began.
  • • i wish it could be any other way - not ready for love, yet again.
  • • i'm done - turning off like like a faucet. disconnecting.
  • • i'm lost - in a coffeeshop, thinking.
  • • if only i could believe that - Going to the store is like letting a child loose in the toy store. Blades and pills and lighters are what appeal.
  • • isn't that all right - not ready for love.
  • • it's mine - self-destruction.
  • • just fine - the doctors analyze and watch.
  • • kill the bitch - self-hate.
  • • lost - looking at an old photograph of me.
  • • making it to graduation - right before graduation we all go mad.
  • • melancholy - what christmas is when you're fucked up.
  • • metamorphosis - a girl's change in life.
  • • mirror girl - the girl in the mirror, join her.
  • • my life - musings way back when.
  • • my own silence - self-destructing.
  • • never take candy from strangers - Problems with people who seem friendly.
  • • odd shaped package - a day in the life.
  • • one of them - those stick thin girls. how i wish i could be one.
  • • only way - the girl in the mirror
  • • sarcophagus - girl living on her own kills herself.
  • • shattered china doll - a woman is tired of being victimized. stephen king reference.
  • • she did not want my love - lavender/padma. lavender thinks of parvati and settles for padma. padma has her own secret. nc-17. indirect mention of incest.
  • • she might write you a letter - somebody said they cared and the world broke apart.

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